At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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