Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
