I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
