Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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