Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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