I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
