I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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