he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Enjoy the penises
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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