I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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