I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
