Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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