My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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