I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I am available for nakedness
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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