Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
