its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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