I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize