We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
