can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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