It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
