Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The struggles of a small town man whore
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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