She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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