I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
