You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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