Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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