just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
