so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
