just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
