i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
