just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
i drank out of a bidet.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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