Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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