That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
