Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize