just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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