i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
