Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
