The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize