Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
