If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
