if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Are we still banned from the library?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
