Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
worst night to have a conscience
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
