A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
