my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
