You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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