shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
either way he was missing a nipple.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
