remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I need a burrito and a hug.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
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