I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
That's how pantless uber rides happen
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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