Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
How's work?
Spinning.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
