If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
