were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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