so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
