so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
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