why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
last night I used snow as a chaser
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