the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
