You're my little dorito
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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