and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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