Is it because I queefed?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
