Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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