If that was your dad, he is hot
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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