We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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