yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
