Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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