it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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